Deep Sea 89'

In the time when the world became tired of Space, and Astronauts, the Aquanaut had a brief and wet renaissance.
The year was 1989 AD when the airlock pressurized again, I'm not exactly sure why tho. Hollywood must of been drinking Seawater Gimlets or something, because 6 films all came out that same year in the same thrilling genre "Deep Sea Thriller". Personally out of the group of deep sea releases I was the most interested in seeing Leviathan, it just sounded scary, and that dude Michael Carmine looked like a freak even before his hair started falling out after drinking Russian Water. I was 9 and blockbuster films were everywhere. Batman, Road House, Back to the Future Part 2, Christmas Vacation, Ghostbusters 2, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Weekend at Bernie's, all legendary, and the list goes on.
I later saw The Abyss and liked it, but I did not shit my sweatpants like when I saw Leviathan. I thought Deep Star Six sucked even at 9 years old.

Let's compare the films Tagline's for:

LEVIATHAN:

Welcome to your worst nightmare, welcome to Leviathan

It will leave you gasping for air...

The true meaning of fear

THE ABYSS:

There's everything you've ever known about adventure, and then there's The Abyss.

A place on earth more awesome than anywhere in space.

Deep below the blue surface, there lies a place no one has ever dreamed of.....

DEEP STAR SIX:

Not All Aliens Come From Space.

Save Your Last Breath... To Scream.

Six miles below the surface of the ocean, something beyond your imagination will scare the hell out of you.

1989 Tagline's are pretty rad.

I can't think of anything else to talk about.

RIP Michael Carmine (1959–1989)

Sex isn't selling

This whole situation is a problem.

SPACE HARRIER

The beat is smokey at 2:19

SWERVLY

swervly from Brenna Murphy on Vimeo.

SKATEBOARDANIMATION

Skateboardanimation from Tilles Singer on Vimeo.

Nice

FOUAD ANTOUN 1981

FOUAD ANTOUN 1981 VHS from tr3nt3trois on Vimeo.

THE TOXIC ADVENTURE

Just the other day I really watched the shit out of the 1984 cult classic gemstone, The Toxic Avenger. I was thoroughly impressed with how consistently the flow of junk came from the film, real quality crap. It is difficult to replicate without seeming campy. However I think that if you remove the toxic avenger from the picture and say replace him with Burt Reynolds, you have a real classic on your hands. Maybe even give cannonball run a run for its money. Its title could be The Avenger, or maybe The Toxic Shock Avenger. Oh yea, and sign on Jerry Reed, and we're ready to roll.

CHUBBY RESTAURANTEUR NECROZOOPHILE


In this scene it would seem that this fat fuck was tuggin' his summer sausage, and being turned on by the death of this seeing eye dog. Instead he is just reachin' for his bourbon stow spot, to pour some liquor for his goldie.



JIVE ASS CORNISH HEN


Here we have Jessie Jackson wearing a XL-Breathe Right Nasal Strip. Apparently he has breathing problems on top of having his arm ripped off. Around the same time Jessie appeared on Sesame Place.



ONE EYED SLACKS SERPENT


In this scene Joseph Merrick walks in on a femme masturbating in a cedar sauna. Instead of joining her he drops her ass on the hot rocks. What the fuck is wrong with him?




HOCUS POCUS


I think that Kathy Najimy from the 90's BLOCKBUSTAH Hocus Pocus was an extra in the film, only for about a second. I wrote a letter to her manager to verify my accusations. I will keep you posted. Bette Midler, and Sarah Jessica parker were in Hocus Pocus Too.



FEELING HOARSE


Pete Roses' lil brother Dennis Souder is seen here selling bootleg botox to this feathery lady. In the following scene you
see what happens due to him getting high on his own supply.



These 2 gays are alarmed because they also purchased his product.



12 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, MAYBE


This gentleman in the limo is sitting with his 12 year old trick. He is trying to push his product to a guy that just pissed his acid wash.



IT'S MY GIFT IN A BOX


This is the aftermath the dry-cleaner is dealing with after Dr. Werner Klopek's xmas special got a little to jolly.
His poor wife Mrs. Haskell is trying to pass it off as her famous tapioca fondue.




GDA GERMAN DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE


These 2 gays are again floored when they took a tour of their favorite German turkey sausage factory and found that the turkey dog had a pork casing instead of the assumed human casing.



A VIEW TO A THRILL


Max Zorin enjoying a laugh at the spa, shortly before saving his moustache.



COCAINE COWBOYS


These 2 jokesters drive around Newark snortin' bud, and drinkin' coke all day long. When you say freebase comes at a cost, the cops are the ones that pay.



BROWN OYSTER CULT


These are the founding members of the Brown Oyster Cult, basically a bunch of guys that dug dark meat. Founding member Bruce Dickinson went on to become a legendary music producer for the band Blue Oyster Cult.



YOUNG JEEZIE


In 1987 Lil'Wayne was tied to a mattress and set on fire when he refused to smoke crack. These are the photos of the before and after plastic surgery of his 4th degree burns. They did a pretty good job!

Divlje Jagode-MOTORI

Divlje Jagode mean vild strawberri in Bosnian. This band is Bosnia's answer to Van Halen. The lead singers name must be Dusan Lee Rothic but it is Sead Lipovaca, the Bosnian equivalent. Motori means motorcycles, and motorcycles means bicycle with an engine.

Cocaine Wars 2

This gem went strait to CED. I heard that Medusa Home Video might do a limited Laser Disk Re-run. Keep your fingers crossed.